Living and Learning

This week saw the loss of two members of my big global family. One was the mother of a friend of mine and the other was a family friend. I am pleased to say that in both cases they lived incredibly long and happy lives.

It's not easy saying goodbye, but sometimes there is something profound about a memorial service. I hate the word 'funeral'. It sounds so austere and foreboding. But 'memorial'...to me that is about remembering loved ones and celebrating their lives. In the case of our family friend I was very sad but when I reminisced with my mother about him we ended up laughing most of the time instead because he was just that much of a joyous and memorable person. We also said that the crematorium where the service was being held was far too small considering everyone who wanted to turn up.

I think that celebrating a person's life can sometimes be very healing. Perhaps it's because it takes the attention away from our grief, we celebrate what that person meant to so many other people. I've found that by talking about how funny Joe was and what an incredibly vibrant person he was it stopped me from falling to pieces. And there is a lesson there for me too. Joe had a very, very long life and a very happy one, but life can be fleetingly short, and it is important to live your life with great passion and joy and meaning. Joe was an avid hunter, a very respected member of both the local hunting and fishing communities, and the most incredible painter I had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

We are, in some ways, a legacy of the people who go before us, especially if they are family. We can serve as an important link to one another in our time of grief. I think the loved ones who pass before us would want nothing better for us than to see us supporting each other and living life to the full.